Two days after my big fall I couldn't sleep through the night and I was in constant pain. I ended up going to urgent care because my doc couldn't fit me in. The lovely doctor in urgent care prescribed me an anti-inflammatory for pain and muscle relaxants that actually let me sleep. I'm still achy and things are not 100%, but I can actually use the computer now. And turning my neck without yelping is a definite plus.
Enter my child and some stealthy water.
We keep a gate up to our kitchen because my child does not consistently listen when I ask him not to touch something. Yesterday I was making Charlie bacon in the kitchen--which the kid seriously LOVES. He sat on the hall side of the gate with a nice refreshing glass of water provided by his wonderful mother (seriously I give him water with a straw and make him bacon, that's pretty darn wonderful). Charlie enjoys watching water spill all over things, so I knew it might end up on the carpet. It's only water so no big deal. I took the empty glass from him and was quite proud to see there was no water on the carpet. He's learning . . . but not in that way I thought.
In an attempt to leave the kitchen, I slipped on the stealthily spilled water covering the floor. I land on my butt in a pool of water that I didn't know existed two seconds before. As I fell my ankle twisted and my foot slammed into the gate. I hit the gate with such a strong force that my toes literally got stuck in the gate's webbing and I had to maneuver them out. OUCH!
I screamed in pain, which made my child scream "no no no" and look like the world was ending. So again I had to suck it up so he wouldn't be scared. My husband brilliantly rigged up some duct tape around the gate's latch so that Charlie can't get in. He can open and close the gate otherwise. Because I was unable to get up, I had to slide over and open the dishwasher, get out a knife, cut the tape and get the gate open to let my child in for some comforting. I felt like a mangled MacGyver. Seriously, can I be brave for this kid or what? Once Charlie wasn't scared anymore, I figured out a way to hobble out of the kitchen.
I'm starting to feel like I might not survive his toddlerhood . . . at least not without a few more twists, falls, bruises and scrapes.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Potty Trained at 21 Months: How We Did It
We got serious about potty training at the end of May, when Charlie was 19 months. We decided to try the pants-less approach after reading about it here.
The cotton training pants approach was not working at all because Charlie viewed them as just another kind of diaper. Charlie was showing signs of readiness. He liked peeing on the potty. He HATED having his diaper changed. He just wasn't able to consistently tell us when he had to go.
The pants-less approach seemed like a reasonable way for Charlie to learn when he needed to use the potty chair. He would immediately feel that he had peed and we would know as well. It meant that we could get him to the potty as soon as we saw urine, which helped us teach Charlie the connection between the potty chair and peeing (it also works for pooping).
I won't lie. After the first 24 hours I wanted to quit. He was peeing every 30-45 minutes (not a sign of readiness according to all of the information I've read). He had something like 6 accidents that first day. I felt like a walking Spot Bot
. The second day was just as terrible. Then on the third day something clicked for Charlie. Not only did he stop peeing on the floor (there was only 1 or 2 accidents), he stopped peeing every 45 minutes. That's when I decided to stick with this method.
After more than 3 months, Charlie only wears a diaper for his nap and for bedtime. We haven't worked out a plan for a big boy bed transition yet. Because he can't get out of his crib to use the potty he still has to wear a diaper. The other issue is that he still can't pull his pants up or down by himself. This is a really difficult task for small children. Until he's in a big boy bed, he will continue to wear a sleep time diaper.
You've probably deduced that Charlie is always pants-less at home (seeing as he is unable to pull his own pants up and down). When Charlie has to go, he'll go over to the potty chair, sit down, read a book or 10, and then go back to whatever he was working on before he had to go potty. I very rarely will prompt him or remind him unless he hasn't gone for a few hours or he's had something to drink semi-recently.
Dealing with the outside world was much harder than having him become trained to use the potty at home. At first we would put him in a training diaper because we were afraid of accidents. The source that described the process of pants-less potty training says not to put them in diapers or underwear and I learned quickly why that was true. Wearing training pants consistently led to more at home accidents. So we built up our confidence and took the risk of him only wearing shorts while out and about. Our bravery was worth it because the results were great!
Here are some things that we do to cope with potential out in the world accidents:
that sits on the toilet, he felt scared. It didn't get any better when we used this particular travel potty chair on the floor. It wasn't until we got the smaller version of his Baby Bjorn potty chair
that he finally felt comfortable. He now has no problems using the potty out in the world.
It's OK to have accidents. Charlie still has the occasional accident. He'll be concentrating on his work or having so much fun that he won't stop to pee. It happens. We're lucky in that Charlie will go a little and stop himself so it's not a complete mess. He'll say "oh no" because no one likes to have an accident. I'll pick him up, tell him it's OK and that we'll get him cleaned up right away. I say nothing more about it. We move on.
I had to learn to trust my kid. When we first started potty training and we were in the outside world I would nervously ask him over and over if he had to go potty. Ben and I would make each other anxious and Charlie got upset by our bothering him. It also resulted in an accident out and about. From this we learned to relax and not push the issue. It's OK to remind him after a significant amount of time has passed, but not be bothersome.
I recommend the Baby Bjorn potties. We have this one (in white):
this one:
and this one (in white):
They are all sturdy and Charlie has definitely felt the safest and most confident while using them. They are worth the money.
This method of potty training worked for us. My kid uses the potty chair all by himself and doesn't wear diapers during the day. He's confident and we're happy.
The cotton training pants approach was not working at all because Charlie viewed them as just another kind of diaper. Charlie was showing signs of readiness. He liked peeing on the potty. He HATED having his diaper changed. He just wasn't able to consistently tell us when he had to go.
The pants-less approach seemed like a reasonable way for Charlie to learn when he needed to use the potty chair. He would immediately feel that he had peed and we would know as well. It meant that we could get him to the potty as soon as we saw urine, which helped us teach Charlie the connection between the potty chair and peeing (it also works for pooping).
I won't lie. After the first 24 hours I wanted to quit. He was peeing every 30-45 minutes (not a sign of readiness according to all of the information I've read). He had something like 6 accidents that first day. I felt like a walking Spot Bot
. The second day was just as terrible. Then on the third day something clicked for Charlie. Not only did he stop peeing on the floor (there was only 1 or 2 accidents), he stopped peeing every 45 minutes. That's when I decided to stick with this method.After more than 3 months, Charlie only wears a diaper for his nap and for bedtime. We haven't worked out a plan for a big boy bed transition yet. Because he can't get out of his crib to use the potty he still has to wear a diaper. The other issue is that he still can't pull his pants up or down by himself. This is a really difficult task for small children. Until he's in a big boy bed, he will continue to wear a sleep time diaper.
You've probably deduced that Charlie is always pants-less at home (seeing as he is unable to pull his own pants up and down). When Charlie has to go, he'll go over to the potty chair, sit down, read a book or 10, and then go back to whatever he was working on before he had to go potty. I very rarely will prompt him or remind him unless he hasn't gone for a few hours or he's had something to drink semi-recently.
Dealing with the outside world was much harder than having him become trained to use the potty at home. At first we would put him in a training diaper because we were afraid of accidents. The source that described the process of pants-less potty training says not to put them in diapers or underwear and I learned quickly why that was true. Wearing training pants consistently led to more at home accidents. So we built up our confidence and took the risk of him only wearing shorts while out and about. Our bravery was worth it because the results were great!
Here are some things that we do to cope with potential out in the world accidents:
- We always have Charlie sit on his potty to try before we go outside. He is not expected to pee because you either have to go or you don't. He is just asked to try to make sure he gets the opportunity.
- For car rides we have a Piddle Pad in the car seat. It's meant to be a block between the pee and the actual car seat. He's yet to have an accident in the car so I'm not sure how well it absorbs. It does give me piece of mind so it was worth it just for that.
- If he's been in the car for 40 minutes or more, when we arrive at our destination we ask him if he has to go potty. Sometimes at super exciting places like his Grammie's, I will just sit him down on the potty because he's often too excited to register a definite answer.
- We always have our Baby Bjorn little potty chair
in the trunk of the car so that he can feel comfortable anywhere we go.
- We keep a plastic bag with Ziplock bags and paper towel in the car for easy potty chair cleanup. This way if he has to go somewhere like a parking lot, we have a proper method of disposal. We've done this a handful of times and it works out fine.
- A spare pair of pants and baby wipes are permanent fixtures in the car. Sometimes I forget the diaper bag, so having the extras in the car leaves room for my forgetfulness and Charlie's comfort.
that sits on the toilet, he felt scared. It didn't get any better when we used this particular travel potty chair on the floor. It wasn't until we got the smaller version of his Baby Bjorn potty chair that he finally felt comfortable. He now has no problems using the potty out in the world.It's OK to have accidents. Charlie still has the occasional accident. He'll be concentrating on his work or having so much fun that he won't stop to pee. It happens. We're lucky in that Charlie will go a little and stop himself so it's not a complete mess. He'll say "oh no" because no one likes to have an accident. I'll pick him up, tell him it's OK and that we'll get him cleaned up right away. I say nothing more about it. We move on.
I had to learn to trust my kid. When we first started potty training and we were in the outside world I would nervously ask him over and over if he had to go potty. Ben and I would make each other anxious and Charlie got upset by our bothering him. It also resulted in an accident out and about. From this we learned to relax and not push the issue. It's OK to remind him after a significant amount of time has passed, but not be bothersome.
I recommend the Baby Bjorn potties. We have this one (in white):
this one:
and this one (in white):
They are all sturdy and Charlie has definitely felt the safest and most confident while using them. They are worth the money.
This method of potty training worked for us. My kid uses the potty chair all by himself and doesn't wear diapers during the day. He's confident and we're happy.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Boom!
Charlie requested that we go for a walk yesterday. In my left hand was Charlie's hand and in my right was our dog's leash. On our walk to the playground, somehow I tripped on Charlie. He has some trouble with his right leg and will lose his footing, which is what I'm guessing happened yesterday. As Charlie got under foot I came crashing to the ground. At the last minute I let go of the leash and let go of Charlie and I managed to slam into my hands rather than my teeth, which is good because I like my teeth.
I heard myself hit the ground with a massive thud. I hit both hands and both knees and wowza does that hurt. I had forgotten how painful it is to skin my knees. All was quiet until Charlie started wailing. While I was sitting on the pavement, about to cry myself, I scooped Charlie up in my arms and soothed him while searching for injury. The poor little guy had skinned both knees pretty badly. Instantly I became steady and serious. I was able to comfort Charlie, let him know I knew he was hurt and that I was going to help him. Being the brave boy that he is, he stopped crying right away. We turned around to go back home to wipe up our scraped knees.
It wasn't until we got home and I tried to pick something up that I realized that something was wrong with my hand--lots of pain. My hand hurts differently than yesterday and now my arm and neck are killing me. I'm not amused that I am not as resilient as I used to be.
The thing that amazed me was how quickly I went from feeling like I was going to cry from the pain to becoming calm so that I could search Charlie over. I maintained a level head and assessed the situation so that I could help Charlie. There are lots of small (and big) ways that I've grown up because I'm Charlie's mom. Keeping a situation cool instead of wigging out about blood--well I'm pretty proud of myself for being able to do that.
I heard myself hit the ground with a massive thud. I hit both hands and both knees and wowza does that hurt. I had forgotten how painful it is to skin my knees. All was quiet until Charlie started wailing. While I was sitting on the pavement, about to cry myself, I scooped Charlie up in my arms and soothed him while searching for injury. The poor little guy had skinned both knees pretty badly. Instantly I became steady and serious. I was able to comfort Charlie, let him know I knew he was hurt and that I was going to help him. Being the brave boy that he is, he stopped crying right away. We turned around to go back home to wipe up our scraped knees.
It wasn't until we got home and I tried to pick something up that I realized that something was wrong with my hand--lots of pain. My hand hurts differently than yesterday and now my arm and neck are killing me. I'm not amused that I am not as resilient as I used to be.
The thing that amazed me was how quickly I went from feeling like I was going to cry from the pain to becoming calm so that I could search Charlie over. I maintained a level head and assessed the situation so that I could help Charlie. There are lots of small (and big) ways that I've grown up because I'm Charlie's mom. Keeping a situation cool instead of wigging out about blood--well I'm pretty proud of myself for being able to do that.
Paying Attention to Handedness
Since Charlie was a baby, I noticed that he favored using his left hand. According to some things I've read it's too early to be sure what his handedness is, but I would be shocked if he isn't a lefty. He typically uses his left hand to eat, draw and do most of his activities.
In Montessori elementary teacher training, we were taught to sit to the right of a child when we would give a lesson. This was so that the child could use his right hand to manipulate the materials. If a child was left handed we were supposed to sit to his left, again to provide accessibility to the materials with the favored hand. Boy has this come in handy (ha!) with Charlie. I have found that if I sit to his left he is much more successful with manipulating whatever material I am trying to show him. For example, when we did the water activity I originally placed the water materials more towards his right hand side. He was having a very difficult time pouring accurately so I moved the materials so that he could use his left hand more easily. Success! I'll be paying more attention to his manipulation of toys to be sure his handedness doesn't leave him frustrated.
In Montessori elementary teacher training, we were taught to sit to the right of a child when we would give a lesson. This was so that the child could use his right hand to manipulate the materials. If a child was left handed we were supposed to sit to his left, again to provide accessibility to the materials with the favored hand. Boy has this come in handy (ha!) with Charlie. I have found that if I sit to his left he is much more successful with manipulating whatever material I am trying to show him. For example, when we did the water activity I originally placed the water materials more towards his right hand side. He was having a very difficult time pouring accurately so I moved the materials so that he could use his left hand more easily. Success! I'll be paying more attention to his manipulation of toys to be sure his handedness doesn't leave him frustrated.
Monday, July 27, 2009
You Mean It Could Have Been Easy This Whole Time?
We LOVE Diet Coke in our house, so much so that we keep it in a fridge in the garage so that we have to get off our duffs to get the soda-hopefully decreasing the number of sodas we drink in a day. Charlie likes to make the trip to the garage with us to get the soda, but I often hesitate because he will grab onto the can, lick it with gusto and refuse to give it back. It's a battle every single time!
I got to thinking about our approach to asking for the can of soda. Ben or I would ask for Charlie to give us the soda. He will tell us "no no no" and secure his death grip onto the can, which would lead to our grabbing it out of his hands, ending with Charlie screaming. It got to the point where we didn't want him to come along, which upset Charlie just as much as taking the can away. Last week I finally figured it out. Here's what happened before going to the garage:
You mean it could have been this simple the whole darn time?!?!
This has also worked for naps and bedtime. Charlie had taken to screaming when I would leave the room. Now I explain exactly what I am going to do before I leave the room and ask him if he understands. He says "yes." When "night night" songs are over, I let him know that I am going to leave and now he actually waves "bye bye" instead of getting upset over my leaving.
I'm glad it finally clicked for me! Most often it's my own parenting decisions that make a situation positive or negative. It is how I respond to Charlie's behavior. That's why when Charlie and I am having a particularly hard time it is especially difficult on me--I know that I am the one who is not doing something right. It really wasn't nice to expect Charlie to just go along with what I wanted, without even giving him any kind of explanation. I used to explain everything to him and somewhere in this toddler period I stopped. We're back on track now and are having much smoother sailing now that I've acknowledged Charlie's agency.
I got to thinking about our approach to asking for the can of soda. Ben or I would ask for Charlie to give us the soda. He will tell us "no no no" and secure his death grip onto the can, which would lead to our grabbing it out of his hands, ending with Charlie screaming. It got to the point where we didn't want him to come along, which upset Charlie just as much as taking the can away. Last week I finally figured it out. Here's what happened before going to the garage:
Mama: Charlie, would you like to come to the garage to get a soda with me?Now Charlie has the soda, we're in the living room and I wouldn't have believed this would happen if you asked me a couple of weeks ago.
Charlie: K
(Vigorous head shaking "yes")
Mama: I'll let you carry the soda for me, but when we get to the living room I need you to give it back to me. Do you understand?
Charlie: K
More head shaking "yes"
Mama: Charlie, remember that you said you would give mama the soda when we got into the living room? I would like to have the soda.
Charlie: Yeah.
(Hands over the soda!)
You mean it could have been this simple the whole darn time?!?!
This has also worked for naps and bedtime. Charlie had taken to screaming when I would leave the room. Now I explain exactly what I am going to do before I leave the room and ask him if he understands. He says "yes." When "night night" songs are over, I let him know that I am going to leave and now he actually waves "bye bye" instead of getting upset over my leaving.
I'm glad it finally clicked for me! Most often it's my own parenting decisions that make a situation positive or negative. It is how I respond to Charlie's behavior. That's why when Charlie and I am having a particularly hard time it is especially difficult on me--I know that I am the one who is not doing something right. It really wasn't nice to expect Charlie to just go along with what I wanted, without even giving him any kind of explanation. I used to explain everything to him and somewhere in this toddler period I stopped. We're back on track now and are having much smoother sailing now that I've acknowledged Charlie's agency.
He Looks Like Me
When Charlie was born, everyone said that he looked like Ben. It was so annoying. I wanted him to look like me so badly. Finally, I have victory! A woman in the grocery store stopped me to tell me how much Charlie looked like me. I've also been hearing this a lot from family friends who knew me as a young child. It really tickles me that he's my spitting image.
Charlie is so much like me personality wise too. Good lord is it hard to parent someone like me-- two stubborn and belligerent people can have quite a bit of conflict. Too bad Charlie couldn't have just gotten my charming good looks :-) Although, I'm pretty sure his assertiveness will take him a long way in his life.
Charlie is so much like me personality wise too. Good lord is it hard to parent someone like me-- two stubborn and belligerent people can have quite a bit of conflict. Too bad Charlie couldn't have just gotten my charming good looks :-) Although, I'm pretty sure his assertiveness will take him a long way in his life.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Fun Water Activity
How could an empty gallon jug with hole cut for easy access, water, a funnel and measuring cups not be fun for a toddler? You can find the activity at The Wonder Years (a blog I always enjoy). It was a nice playing outside activity. Charlie's pouring skills greatly improved by the time he was done playing. It was great fun.
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